I had a day of rest from art yesterday as I wallowed in the success of my film launch.
I say success, nothing changed from the day before and the throngs of congratulations never came. I was not put up for any awards, the ones I had imagined in my head the day before, no agents phoned to ask to represent me, no one messaged with gushing praise and the internet didn't break when the film went viral.
Ok, my mum did and my mentor from Future's Venture sent a text with a champagne emoji and some kisses and I recall the word 'fabulous' on an email.
I still wait for recognition. But the fact that I think it is my best life's work is enough to wake this morning filled with creative hopes for my future. I believe in myself for the moment. I suspect this precarious pedestal will topple within weeks as the realities of making it as a woman in the art world hit home and self-doubt drowns my hopes, probably before Christmas.
Such is life, we carry on.
But for today, I think I am a genius. I am Artemesia, Frida and Cindy all in one.
I ordered a green screen for the next film and am committed to spending lockdown making new radical video cartoons. I have created a character in my head and am consumed with excitement. Getting the Birth of Adom finished after all this time, and with all my new equipment, has shown me the possibilities.....I am unstoppable. Lockdown is a welcome scenario. I can wait a few months for international acclaim.
In other news, I have my writing cap on. I think in prose and poetry. There will be words, lots of juicy words, short and long ones, new ones, old ones from school I have not seen in a while. Hello thesaurus my old friend.
I also launched the Dominartist merchandise shop yesterday and will be wearing my designs for doing housework as we are not allowed to leave home till spring. (They have told us it is for a month, but I predict an isolated winter.)
Some links to the new shop.....